for love or money

yeah! i finally gave my notice.

i am excited to be moving on to my new position. it will give me much more flexibility when it comes to my family. i will be able to stay home on sick days (like today) and know that i will not go back to chaos. i will be able to go to school picnics, take vacation and not have to work extra just to take the time off, and i WILL NOT miss any more performances.

but, on the downside i am going to miss my job a lot. i really enjoy the work i do, but unfortunately i have a high work load and i am underfunded and i just have to have my life back. but i really love my job so this decision was really hard to make. and, they aren't making it easy to leave, suddenly i am finding myself with a whole bunch of projects i didn't count on.

love or money.

i do think i will really like my new job, it is a huge turn in my life, my bosses are cool, and i get an iphone.

off to the beach this weekend for our annual vacation. hopefully i can find the cord for the camera and i can finally download some pics.

coffee is my friend

happy tuesday. i no longer believe in mondays. mondays are somebody's idea of a sick joke.

it was a wonderful weekend. big s's parents were down and i got to hang out with them. i am sad i missed another friend's poetry reading, but it wasn't going to happen the way time worked. there is not enough time in one day! now that summer is here we are making things happen one day at a time.

on sunday all of us, the kids, mr. mccee, big s and parents, brother and more kids, did the sunday parkways. the kids scootered and we walked and it was lovely. now i see so many more people in my neighborhood riding home from work than last week. and the benefit to the young master has been wonderful... he now wants to scooter everywhere. but it was wonderful, i ran into so many people. the feeling of being able to walk down the middle of the street and not worry about cars was fantastic. i hope the city of portland has another sunday parkways.

Oh, and thank god. i am not slowly killing myself with coffee. i was a little afraid.

why i love summer - part I

finally a work a sort of mellow day. heck, i am at work, during work times, and i have the time to write just a few little sentences i feel like it is a great sense of relief. i have a great weekend planned out for the kids, and they don't know the half of it.

i am giving my notice on monday, and i am relieved, but at the same time i am so scared about what the future will hold. all will be well. mr. mcCee is stoked for me, and at the same time i know a little sad because he has been working really hard to get out of his line of work. it will happen eventually. we have been getting along so well now for the last few months that i don't know what do. i know we have both grown up immensely, and that helps a lot.

hopefully this weekend i can get some great shots of the boys and show how much they have grown. d man is talking non stop, and hopefully we can move onto potty training soon. it needs to happen. at least i am ready for it to happen, haven't talked much to him about it though.

best quote of the weekend

from his friend mister k, a good friend of master f, who had borrowed a shirt for our raucous trip to bullwinkles so he wouldn't be too hot-

sniff sniff, 'master f, your house smells good. i can smell it in your shirt.' (continues sniffing)

wow. thanks tide. i really appreciated that! i swelled with that one all day. who knew that would make me feel like a great mom for a few moments. advertising really does work.

staying home

i am in the midst of a home vacation right now. i took a few days off to visit friends, interview and just hang out and clean house. my house is pretty clean right now, and it is great how i have the time to clean a mess as it happens. what a crazy feeling.

spending time with the kids has been so wonderful. it has allowed me to be around so master f can have a friend or two come over and play and it makes it so i can actually feed them a meal or two at home. cooking a home meal, even lunch makes me so happy.

so, with my separation anxieties i already have with the dman, this home vacation is bringing up even more split emotions about my life. i have been working so hard the past few years at a job i seriously thought would boost my career, but it has sucked up my home life. there has been no balance. i find myself not seeing my kids for a few days because i work so hard, and then i still can't pay the bills because the pay is so ridiculously bad. what am i doing?? and then i know, i would love to be able to work just a bit so i can stay home more. nothing makes me so happy as being with the kids, having kids over, playing with them and planning activities. dman is getting older, and i feel i have missed his whole entire two years of life. wtf. is life supposed to be like this, one of the reasons you have kids is to spend time with them.

so tomorrow i have a potential job offer at another position similar to the one i have right now but in the private sector. of course the money is better, the job has less responsibility, and the people i would work with are awesome. of course this sounds great, but would i be taking a step back in my career? i am seriously overqualified, but spending time with my kids at night and having a balance is so important. i don't want to miss another school performance or a fun afternoon at school because i am so overworked that i have to work harder to prepare for a day off. this year has really sucked a lot and marc has had to take on a lot of the slack, which wasn't really fair when i got jealous.

but really, i want to be independently wealthy and never leave my kids unless i want too. that is the real dream right now.

First post- Inspiration

I am having a crappy day, and I thought I would cheer myself up. I completely ripped this off from another blog I frequent, but it made my day.




Cheers all! My new half year resolution: May I get time to post on this little blog.