what i've learned this year

this year hasn't been as rough as others, but very changing nonetheless. i have definitely learned patience and to be grateful for everything i have in my life. so, here it is, the list of things i've learned this year:

1. patience.

children force patience. i have finally learned to accept it. patiently.

2. being comfortable how to cook and bake:

see # 4 regarding time; i spent two months baking or making a meal from scratch every day. this is the year that people started getting birthday cakes for their birthdays because really, what do people really want for their birthdays except cake, so i baked about 6 cakes from scratch since may and now have no fear in attempting any recipe now. i have even started my own cookbook/scrapbook and refer to it often. my new confidence has been a godsend these last few months when i only have a few items, 2 dollars and three mouths to feed. thank you fannie farmer.

3. even more love for my children:

it has been a tough year for finn. i remember from my own childhood how hard 3rd grade was, but for finn, it was tougher. he was diagnosed with a few things this summer and from this point on will have to take pharmaceuticals. i am happy and sad that we waited so long to give him drugs, but at the same point he has blossomed, no joke, blossomed since we started him in on meds. marc and i both had to come to terms with it, but i am very happy that we did. he is still the sweet, thoughtful and gentle child we have always had, but now he is brave in ways he never was before. his little head is not full of all of the worries he had before and now attempts all things physical he had been to scared to ever try, and for that i am grateful. i will forever be thankful to the folks who helped get us here.

on the other hand, it has been a tough year for us with declan. he is two and a half, and he is the two year old his brother never was. he bites, throws things, demands, and then turns around and is sweet as heaven. what are we going to do, i don't know.

4. change is good:

i left a low paying job for a better paying job and got laid off. stayed home broke for two months while marc worked his new job. he got laid off, then i started a new job. in the end, things are fine. i have hope and know marc will find a job that he likes, if his isn't rehired at his old place. and being laid off was a good thing for me because i never would have waited for this job if i didn't have the unemployment income coming in. life is really funny at times. finally i will have psuedo financial solidness i have never had before, and this is the easiest job i have ever held.

5. have fun at all times possible:

cleaning the kitchen and doing laundry isn't necessarily as fun as a 9 pm snowball fight with your kids in below freezing weather, but they both have to happen when the time is right. if i spend my life be miserable about the things that have to get done, when will i know when i am really and truly miserable? i don't want to be miserable at all really, ever.

6. clean laundry is not a necessity, but a clean kitchen is:

please see #2 and #5.

7. i have a most wonderful family:

this has been a good year. marc and i almost called it quits last year, but for a year now we have been going better than ever. he is so committed to spend a lifetime with me and i never understood that before. this christmas is the smallest one ever, but the most joyous. our life together the last year has been so incredibly wonderful and good. we have supported each other more, and communicated better than ever. he also is ever so less grumpy, which makes it all so much easier.

8. faith

two fridays ago marc got laid off. twenty minutes later i was told my background check had cleared and my badge was ready to start work at monday at 8 a.m. life is crazy sometimes. it was the scariest twenty minutes of my life. but it really leads me to believe that there is something larger than us little human beings in this world. jesus christ is still a major issue on why i can't believe in 'christianity' so i think i should make up my own religion... maybe i am spending to much time with the sci fi channel, i don't know.

9. aging

i am now getting older and realizing there are woman my age who are obsessing and think that 29 was there best year ever. i know to many fantastic wonderful woman to ever believe that 29 was the best, i think 45, 50 and 75 are going to be great years. i am glad my little grey hairs are starting to show, at least i still have hair. and for that, i am thankful

i know there is a 10th reason out there, but i just can't think of it right now. i am being called to play ball with a two and a half year old. if i don't go now, he is bound to throw the ball at my head regardless of whether or not i am going to catch it.

happy christmas to you all...