two of my heros

today kind of sucks...

i want to tell him that today sucks. and i miss him terribly. the only person i want to talk to about it is him, but it would make him feel bad. i feel like i am going through the motions of the day. work was crazy, i don't have any time to study, and the kids are waking up several times through the night right now. i am tired and lonely. the kids are driving me crazy! i want to sleep, and my phone is on the fritz to boot. only 48 hours left. there have been weeks when i have seen him only once every few days because of our schedule but today it hit me. if something happens, he isn't here.

the weather doesn't help. it is rainy and windy and i am still healing from my burn from saturday which hurts like a mofo. the most ridiculous part is i want to go over to the neighbors so one of them will put lotion on my back to stop the pain. that is really pathetic i know.

and he's off

again.

but this time i am really excited for him. he is going to santa rosa. if you don't know where it is here:



he will be visiting our long lost friend. he is now married with kids and has become all grown up. mr. mccee and i worked with him a long time ago, and we lived together in a great big house in nw. he also was brave and followed us on our beach adventure. i love and adore him to this day and i can't wait for the updates.

he will also be visiting his child hood home in a small town north of santa rosa called cloverdale. he grew up in a 14 room victorian home. when i first met him i didn't believe it until he showed me pictures from his childhood. i can't wait to see how it has transformed. neither can his mom. he is taking the camera on this trip! hopefully he will find some time to work between visiting...

and, he won't be gone the whole week. thank goodness. but he will miss visiting with his future brother in laws folks, who i can't wait to meet! sucker. he will still have a great time and we will just have to fill each other in on all of the good stuff.

the kids are doing great. mr. f has grown so much this summer. i am so proud of the super accomplishments he has made. he has always been so sweet and gentle, but he adores his brother and they can entertain each other for hours. the other night they were snuggled up in mr. d's bed and mr. f was making up stories. it was awesome.

it wasn't so bad

the first trip out marc had wasn't so bad on our end. we were team M. the kids trooped on, then thursday it was meltdown city. but i coped, i went on, i did.not.collapse.

but in the end we did. after a safe arrival from the east coast mr. mccee landed in our town ready to pass out after a quick snuggle.

our first weekend together in 11 years was awesome. it was amazing. we spent the whole time together not worrying about the house, puttering on just getting things done. we thought he would be in town for a few weeksso we wouldn't have to stress about preparing for another week of him being away, but today, we found out he would be gone again on sunday. at least we will have capt bogg on saturday...

i am not sure how i am going to like this, but for now he is so happy that i can't burst his bubble.

missing idaho

last night my grandmother died. it has been a hard past few years for everyone in idaho. she had alzheimers, which i have decided is the cruelest disease ever. i feel so much sadness for the whole situation. mostly i feel sad for my grandfather for losing his life partner, and grieving for many years. he couldn't take care of her, so he put her in a home, which was hard for him. but he couldn't do it by himself. i don't blame him at all. i have a hard enough time with two children. the last few months have been a downward spiral for her. she is now at peace.

right now i wish i was in idaho so i could be there with him.

Raining in August...

Stole it from the Writers Almanac, but really people, it is August and raining in lovely Oregon. How wrong is that?


There Will Come Soft Rains

by Sara Teasdale

There will come soft rains and the smell of the ground,
And swallows circling with their shimmering sound;

And frogs in the pools singing at night,
And wild plum-trees in tremulous white;

Robins will wear their feathery fire
Whistling their whims on a low fence-wire;

And not one will know of the war, not one
Will care at last when it is done.

Not one would mind, neither bird nor tree
If mankind perished utterly;

And Spring herself, when she woke at dawn,
Would scarcely know that we were gone.