what i've learned this year

this year hasn't been as rough as others, but very changing nonetheless. i have definitely learned patience and to be grateful for everything i have in my life. so, here it is, the list of things i've learned this year:

1. patience.

children force patience. i have finally learned to accept it. patiently.

2. being comfortable how to cook and bake:

see # 4 regarding time; i spent two months baking or making a meal from scratch every day. this is the year that people started getting birthday cakes for their birthdays because really, what do people really want for their birthdays except cake, so i baked about 6 cakes from scratch since may and now have no fear in attempting any recipe now. i have even started my own cookbook/scrapbook and refer to it often. my new confidence has been a godsend these last few months when i only have a few items, 2 dollars and three mouths to feed. thank you fannie farmer.

3. even more love for my children:

it has been a tough year for finn. i remember from my own childhood how hard 3rd grade was, but for finn, it was tougher. he was diagnosed with a few things this summer and from this point on will have to take pharmaceuticals. i am happy and sad that we waited so long to give him drugs, but at the same point he has blossomed, no joke, blossomed since we started him in on meds. marc and i both had to come to terms with it, but i am very happy that we did. he is still the sweet, thoughtful and gentle child we have always had, but now he is brave in ways he never was before. his little head is not full of all of the worries he had before and now attempts all things physical he had been to scared to ever try, and for that i am grateful. i will forever be thankful to the folks who helped get us here.

on the other hand, it has been a tough year for us with declan. he is two and a half, and he is the two year old his brother never was. he bites, throws things, demands, and then turns around and is sweet as heaven. what are we going to do, i don't know.

4. change is good:

i left a low paying job for a better paying job and got laid off. stayed home broke for two months while marc worked his new job. he got laid off, then i started a new job. in the end, things are fine. i have hope and know marc will find a job that he likes, if his isn't rehired at his old place. and being laid off was a good thing for me because i never would have waited for this job if i didn't have the unemployment income coming in. life is really funny at times. finally i will have psuedo financial solidness i have never had before, and this is the easiest job i have ever held.

5. have fun at all times possible:

cleaning the kitchen and doing laundry isn't necessarily as fun as a 9 pm snowball fight with your kids in below freezing weather, but they both have to happen when the time is right. if i spend my life be miserable about the things that have to get done, when will i know when i am really and truly miserable? i don't want to be miserable at all really, ever.

6. clean laundry is not a necessity, but a clean kitchen is:

please see #2 and #5.

7. i have a most wonderful family:

this has been a good year. marc and i almost called it quits last year, but for a year now we have been going better than ever. he is so committed to spend a lifetime with me and i never understood that before. this christmas is the smallest one ever, but the most joyous. our life together the last year has been so incredibly wonderful and good. we have supported each other more, and communicated better than ever. he also is ever so less grumpy, which makes it all so much easier.

8. faith

two fridays ago marc got laid off. twenty minutes later i was told my background check had cleared and my badge was ready to start work at monday at 8 a.m. life is crazy sometimes. it was the scariest twenty minutes of my life. but it really leads me to believe that there is something larger than us little human beings in this world. jesus christ is still a major issue on why i can't believe in 'christianity' so i think i should make up my own religion... maybe i am spending to much time with the sci fi channel, i don't know.

9. aging

i am now getting older and realizing there are woman my age who are obsessing and think that 29 was there best year ever. i know to many fantastic wonderful woman to ever believe that 29 was the best, i think 45, 50 and 75 are going to be great years. i am glad my little grey hairs are starting to show, at least i still have hair. and for that, i am thankful

i know there is a 10th reason out there, but i just can't think of it right now. i am being called to play ball with a two and a half year old. if i don't go now, he is bound to throw the ball at my head regardless of whether or not i am going to catch it.

happy christmas to you all...

and he's off

again.

but this time i am really excited for him. he is going to santa rosa. if you don't know where it is here:



he will be visiting our long lost friend. he is now married with kids and has become all grown up. mr. mccee and i worked with him a long time ago, and we lived together in a great big house in nw. he also was brave and followed us on our beach adventure. i love and adore him to this day and i can't wait for the updates.

he will also be visiting his child hood home in a small town north of santa rosa called cloverdale. he grew up in a 14 room victorian home. when i first met him i didn't believe it until he showed me pictures from his childhood. i can't wait to see how it has transformed. neither can his mom. he is taking the camera on this trip! hopefully he will find some time to work between visiting...

and, he won't be gone the whole week. thank goodness. but he will miss visiting with his future brother in laws folks, who i can't wait to meet! sucker. he will still have a great time and we will just have to fill each other in on all of the good stuff.

the kids are doing great. mr. f has grown so much this summer. i am so proud of the super accomplishments he has made. he has always been so sweet and gentle, but he adores his brother and they can entertain each other for hours. the other night they were snuggled up in mr. d's bed and mr. f was making up stories. it was awesome.